♥ my stolen memory.

WELCOME MBP;

you're the new ♥.

Been struggling with some issues that I couldn't voice out lately.

the fact that I'm always trying to prove my existance/ability so that someone actually recognises my efforts.
but not forgetting, I always fail, and when that happens, I wanna seek revenge.
seriously i dnt know what makes me feel better now. sigh.

In different phases in life, we chat differently.

For instance, in school, we used MSN & SMS to chat with people alot more than other methods.
So, after working for a good 9.5 months, I'm converted to chat with Emails instead. The down side of workaholics.
Everything via email; even chatting:




p/s: just so you knw, read from bottom to top.

Credits to my Polariod; picture perfect just that Gwen was the one who took the picture for us.

Enjoyed my time in BKK so much, we're going to plan for another trip next year. TPE? or another round of BKK? I swear I'm going to stay at Grand Diamond, and not Baiyoke. So near to Platinum! I can shop there for days and not get sick of it! :DDDD


anyhow, just a short update before I sink back into work.
Being an accountant = no life. Now I get it.


Exercise marathon tomo; I'm looking forward to it! (:

my new desktop background.
now I can change quotes every now & then!
work's been a bitch; ):

There are so much that I want in life;
that now I think I need to slow down,
differentiate whats a need & a want.

All the luxury that I'm after now is definitely WANTS;
and being spoilt I think I'm acting like they are NEEDS. BLAH,
I think I better find a way to convince myself that cash rich is always better than being asset rich.

so what if you have 10 houses & no cash in hand? 
Still broke mate.
Trying to picture myself 3yrs down the road and I cant seem to find any direction.
Doing a dip part time should be managable;
what about my deg? its either I save a hell lot so that I can survive on my own for 2 yrs,
or I do a part time deg which takes a hell lot of time.
Now I miss mugging for exams so much. ):


& theres a part of me that wonders, what kind of guy would I date next?
What kind of qualities am I looking for?
and I found myself describing him.
Then again;
I like my life now.
I have no commitment. I do what I like, go where I want.
& although it feels lonely at times to sleep alone;
I wake up feeling all good, that I'm not tied to anyone/anything.


HELLO SINGLEHOOD;
I'm loving you for now.

 

Because they say;

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or in love with someone else.   


For me, 3 of 4 were spot on.
Now let me dream, in 2 years, I'll collect them all. (:
nd btw, Chanel accessories are beautyful arent they?

Now that I'm back from Melb, I'm so looking forward to my BKK trip which is due in 4 weeks! Still deciding which luggage to bring there. I need to minimise my spending over there but it seems like its too difficult. BAHH.


Anyhow, about Melb, while I'm there, I complained a hell lot on the weather & it being too cold and windy. Guess what? 11 days there = gotten used to it and starting to wear a tad bit lesser than the first few days there. BAH. & Bad news was I developed some rash over there ( maybe its too dry, I don't know. 3 times in AU i develope rash at the same areas.) and now back to this humid & hot country, my rash got worst. BLAH-MAX.


I think I need to list down the yummy food places; 
and in case I go back there again; I KNOW WHERE TO GO:

Chappli's @ Chapel Street - Apple Strudel & look for David from Geelong! LOL
Greco @ Crown/Chapel Street - Honeycom cheesecake
Fitz Cafe @ Fitzroy - Honey Chicken Risotto 
Pantry @ Brighton - Farmer's Breakfast (served till 4PM. who cares what time you eat your breakfast?)
Stokers @ Heiderberg - PANCAKES. SHIOK-MAX PANCAKES.
Nandos @ anywhere accept southgate - grilled chicken & yummy peri peri sauce
Pictures are coming up soon & stay tuned!

*and the list continues*

P/S: Was sad that I didn't had any time to have coffee with Nabiha before I come back. Hopefully I can go with my parents during APR, and I can go visit her & enjoy the weather again! :DDD

P/P/S: Okaye, gng back to work. How I wished I could be part of ANZ. blahhh.

Can someone actually tell me how am I going to survive this:





I didn't know its this cold.
and I shiver at 25deg. HOW AM I GOING TO WEATHER THE CHILLS?

Now that I'm less emo/hopeful/greedy I realise I really have nothing much to blog about. 2 weeks into breaking up with A has so far been okaye, filling up all my time with friends and family and its all good. Real good. Starting to climb out of this shit myself and I'm glad to say that nagging and whining for what you want really does help in getting them.


For example:

After the breakup, I've been wanting to go Melbourne to relax, clear my mind and come back with a clean slate. With all that is happening, I thought I could use the chance to visit the country while its going into spring. In which I can still feel the cold breeze but not die of coldness there. And true enough, I GOT MY AIR TICKETS TO MEL from my sister. :DDDD


And also, I've been whining about going to BKK, and colleagues were so quick, they booked tickets almost immediately. I LIKE HOW SPONTANEOUS THEY ARE. Or maybe, they just wanna relax before Q4 closing starts. LOL.

Then I was reminicing road trips to Msia, and all. GUESS WHAT? S. asked me to go KL/Genting! & Uncle Robert is planning a trip to Bt. Tingi too. SUI AR. HOLIDAYS! HERE I COME!


OKaye, I lost my momentum to blog. Shit man. I thought I had alot in mind.

JUST VISUALS FOR NOW:








RETRO EFFECT. (:

Recently, after changing AP processes, I really feel like a bummer at office. Surfing alot and not much work to be done, and frankly, I don't really like this kind of feeling. It totally feels like a bummer! I'd rather work late, OT at leadt I feel that I complished something at work. Now totaly not.


Still waiting for Uncle Vince to give me more stuffs to do, and I really wanna feel useful again luh. BLAHHH.
Haven't been myself.
and decided,
no we can't be friends at all.
I will not let you suffocate me again.

Im not accountable to anyone, and I do not need to inform you my wherebouts and plans.
Thanks for pushing the limit,
it gave me the push to not being wishy washy.
whatever has ended, will not continue anymore. no more.

3 main reasons why I'm SUPER DUPES HAPPY today:


1. Its strawberries week again, and cleaner aunty didn't forget to remind me!
2. I met up with my dearest Sarah for dinners. Had a lenghty chat & it felt great!
3. Sis brought me tickets to MEL. OMG! IM GOING TO MEL!


in 3 weeks, I'll be on my way to the beautiful city & hopefully I get to travel the Great Ocean Road again.

im EGGCITED!

Does it always feels like that when you just had a break up? Like everyone around you are attached? Or is it just me? I think I'm progressing, and I think I'm not going to look back. People might be thinking, I'm the one initiating it, why am I acting like the weak one and all? Reason being, I got soft the last time, and I got back with him. I knew what I wanted was to be single but I chose the otherwise. And land myself in the same pile of shit AGAIN, I gotta be firm, I gotta learn how to stand on my own..


I packed my room, cleared A's stuffs on my shelf.
Then yesterday, I took out all his clothes from my wardrobe.
2 bags, and now what's next?

Pictures on my wall, has to be gone;
and now I've found a reason to use the keypouch that Keith gave me on my birthday.
Then what's next?

Side track a little: After packing, mom noticed that was room was way neater, and stop nagging me! HAHA. is that a good sign?

I didn't knew it was so easy to physically remove one person from your life,
but somehow, its so hard to fight the memories.
Everywhere had him in it, its so hard to hide.
Thankfully I have many people loving me, showering alot more concerns these days.

For example:

Dad went out driving his own car to work, and Mom went to meet Dad, driving another car.
Which leaves me with NO car. BOOHOO. And Dad knew that I was at Chay Yan with my sis, so during dinner time, he drove the car from Peach Garden to Chay Yan (not very near in my opinion) so that I do not have to cab home.

*SUCHA SWEETHEART!*


Mom made me soup, cause she knew I haven't been sleeping well, and enough. And it has been sucha long while since she last dig me outta bed, to drink soup. The extreme measures she took to ensure I gulp it all down is just SUPER CUTE. She stop doing it since I got together with A. I'm glad she's doing it again...


Elly (my sister) has been very concern, asked me time after time to reconsider my decision. Worried that I will regret my choice and all. Brought me out for shopping, and paid for what I wanted. (Only this time, she didn't complain about me spending her money! HAHAHAH) To make me feel better and all, I see her efforts. We ended up buying the same romper (quite formal looking) and it was SUPER CHEAP! Was $149 and cause its sales, its selling at $39! How come do I get to be sooooo close to her only now? How come she find me annoying las time! pfft. But its all fine, as long as I live long enough to enjoy it now. (:


GIRLFS- super dupes nice too. Huiya & Sarah check on me time to time, making sure I was fine, make me talk it all out so that I can feel better. They did that even when they are out with boyfs, or just got back from dinner dates. Its really sweet that they were being there supporting me for what I want. Not really bothered about that was the right thing, just make sure it was what I want and be there for me.

WO AI NI MEN! many many!

Okaye, enough of showing off cause I think if I add more, people are going to start to hate me.

 
I'm going to print pictures, and redecorate my wall. Chill out some where, and think of what to do.
XOXO.

E: some guys needs to be guided.
G: I just need someone to guide me.


Now, I can do it myself.

Thru this, I saw many whom haven't contact me in awhile showering me with conerns.
Even the closer ones are making sure I'm okaye.

I feel love/heartwarming/contented that I'm okaye to live like that.


P/S: Life seemed to be so weird at times, You can be fighting with your sister over the silliest stuffs in life, and there, she got closer, attending to all your needs while you nurse a 4year RS breakup.



thank god, it isn't too late.

I LOVE U ELLY CHONG. [ER CHONG Loves YEE CHONG. LOL.]

I really wished you let me go.


& you did.

Now I wonder, are you watching this space,
are you following my thoughts?
do you know what I want?
will you let me go?

Something's telling me that,
you're watching this space, but trying not to react to it.
Guess I was just thinking too much.


Today at work was pretty much quiet. my double Vs had their FP paper,
and to prepare for it, they didn't come to work.
And it gave me alot of time to think, and reflect what I really want. 



 

See, no longer the same.

( 可不可以趁事实还没有变坏，选择离开？ )


Lunch was not bad, taking away the part where it rained so heavily that I need to walk in the carpark to the other end, and the part where I lost my way in the carpark. (which is nearer to the coffeeshop) and satisfy my Lor Mee cravings. LESSON LEARNED: Pay attention to the routes your colleague taught you! I almost wanted to go back office and ask Vincent tobring me to the coffeeshop. and THANK GOD I SAW A SECURITY GUARD!


After successfully arriving at the coffeeshop and gotten my Lor Mee, I saw Vincent & Edmund. And was asked to join them for lunch, in a different coffeeshop. (READ: MA-LU) Spent time catching up and all feels really good, (despite the fact that Vincent is always trying to make fun of me.) and turns out, I don't have to lunch alone in the pantry! How nice.


I wouldn't say I'm a workaholic, but I can't stand having too many stuffs on my desk, so, OT till late to clear of my stuffs and headed off to CK Tangs to meet Huiya & J. They were watch shopping! and I joined in of course. Ended with one FCUK watch and I thought its the end of the shopping spree, and ITS FATED! I saw a Tommy Hilfiger at 60%! A colour, design and style that I LOVED! & on the other hand Huiya's asking me stuffs like;

"HELLO, Are you an alien? you have so many hands for so many watches?!?"

In vain to stop me, but 60% is UNSTOPPABLE! I brought it in the end. So I'm one very happy girl at Tangs, who brought two watches way lower than $300. (Besides, they are not cheap without discount!) Then, hungry & grouchy Huiya needed food, so off to River Valley where we chatted, till I finished my mega-cup-a-green-tea. MEGA I TELL YOU.


Still, came home and puked out dinner/supper.
It must be the extraextra beansprout + venti iced caramel machiato + prata & curry.
Diarrhea & puking aint fun.
My stomach is as grouchy as I'm.
BAH.

( 冷到不能呼吸时最想哭. )



P/S: Reading back, I didn't realised that, that 幸福的感觉 I had didn't last for more than a month. How pathetic. Why does it have to feel so screwed up all the time?